Southern Miss

Ten years melted away as soon as he walked in the room. She would not forget that perfection of a man ever, especially the back of his beautiful head. She stared at that incredibly coiffed dome for an entire semester in law school from a subtle two rows back. That was strategic, because you can get caught sneaking peaks if you are in front, but from her row and arriving early, insured a great runway look as he came in and out of classroom B. There is no chance she had the confidence to talk to this guy, I mean, just look at him...and there he is now strolling into Panera like he owned the place a decade later, and hell he might. Well things were different now. She was already a partner in her toney international firm and men in and outside of those walls were hitting on her every day. She went right up to him and introduced herself. A lilting "Remember me from school?" with a perfectly executed hair flip...Then he spoke. Oh no! It was more of a screech than the melodious deep baritone she had imagined. She could not spend even 10 minutes with this noise, much less a lifetime. Perfection dreams dashed.

For the first time in a decade, it is incredibly tempting to think we have flawless possibilities again. Hell, the national media is more than in love. They are posting conference, Natty, and Heisman odds like the season has already been played. Dear friends, this team is indeed incredibly sexy and gets off the bus like every great all-airport team ever has. They damn sure look the part. But, believe me the coaches have a chickee hut full of issues to address on the offensive line and safety position before we can think like the drive-by national pundits and have never spoken to our team in a Panera.

We interrupt regularly scheduled programming to remind my viewers that two years ago this weekend, our lovable garnet & gold heroes lost to Jacksonville State. At home. On our way to a glorious oh and four...Are you kidding me? Our incredible head coach listened to no one but himself. In 730 days, he has the Noles at #3 in the country and after having played yet another sloppy, fault filled contest obliterated a Bowl team with everyone back by...umm...53 points. If you were a player parent and chose to skip this one. Whoa, that was a Pretty Women Big, Big Mistake. We played 95 different dudes, three placekickers, four quarterbacks and approximately twenty receivers. With all these kids in against the USM starters in the second half, we, gulp, outscored em 35-10. Whether we win it all or just win a ho hum 10 games this year, do not lose sight of the fact that Coach has brought us this far this fast. The portal were the amphetamines, but we are going to become addicted to recruiting, because we are killing it on the trail kids. Your Noles are cool again. And dadgummit, that is just swell. Back to the show.

Jordan had to be wondering if the football was greased. Seven drops in the first quarter alone with Johnny Wilson leading the all Roberto Duran hands of stone team. Jaheim Bell dumped one, Duece Spann paddy caked an easy TD and even Keon could not haul in a contested score. And we were up 14-0. Coach said yes to the dress on four consecutive fourth down tries on one drive and JT obliged by somehow converting all of them. One ridiculous play, he zigzagged back and forth and back towards the wrong end zone for about 30 yards before finding his good friend Lawrence - who was all alone having a casual sideline crumpet - and then dashed ahead for another conversion. The makeshift offensive line featuring 3-4 backups in the first half looked disjointed and overmatched all half. Running lanes were as easy to find as open concession stands at Doak. Jordan was hit more in the first half than all of last week against the #5 team in the land. And we were up 31-3.  Maybe it was Keon briefly made us question if Peter Warrick was the best to ever play in Doak with one of the greatest non TD receiving plays ever. Maybe it was Trey Benson turning off his brain, and just angrily bursting through a A gap hole 42 yards to paydirt. Or maybe it was our QB, who never got down at the fact that he could not pass to himself, because no one else was catching a cold. But, how about for a pace change, we give credit to the other guys. Yup, this one was ugly because the defense made it a Shrek stomping.

Our defensive line is for real y'all. Two powerful running games in a row have just given up on that phase of offense. The four rotating interior tackles are just eating the middle three lineman they face. This is all with Lovett being eased in like Sunday morning (which is when this ludicrously late game finished). Jared has no sacks, but is making the entire field tilt away from him as he embarrasses opposing tackles on the regular. This up front dominance is making it easy to be a corner right now and all four of them are playing markedly better than they did last year - especially Jarrion Jones who broke the rock and this game open with a beautiful pick six. Our issue remains at safety where miscommunication almost delivered 2 walk in TD's but up front pressure forced poor throws. For no obvious reason, motion and Jimbo's famous "eye candy" is just like asking our kids to take the Bar exam after one semester of undergrad basic studies. Then, this week, our senior starter blows a wheel and may be out for a while. The good news as noted earlier is that our young new kids can really play, and another blowout this week should give huge reps to all of them. 

Many of you are old enough to remember the old Doak Campbell scoreboard. It may have been 1980's tech, but it was amazeballs. At a glance, and all the time, you could see running, passing and all the stats you wanted. Well, we progress and now we have a beautiful, ginormous video board that gave us the punting statistics about 27 times last night - but pretty much failed in all other categories. Hey, apparently my little Aussie friend got his ass literally kicked last night. USM just wiped us out in total punting yards. A stat that means just a smidge more than nothing. Good to know. 

Kids, this is so fun. The first two weeks have truly felt dynasty-esque and I do not take that amazing feeling for granted. Thank you Coach Norvell for making football season a nervy, fun ride again. So, what do you say we give that aforementioned hunk from paragraph one some voice lessons and go all the way.