Miami

After the lack of joy in Mudville last night, I harkened back to pregame for the lid lifter in 2019 against Virginia Tech. Remember those halcyon days? The place is packed for a night game in Doak and a new era is upon us. Unfortunately for me personally, having had the benefit of watching the Willie-made mess in Tampa for years, my normal garnet-colored glasses were oh-so-cautiously poised on my head. I was off the train during warmups. I have never seen such a disorganized mess of a team prep in my life. The only synchronicity was the rhythmic dancing as the drills clearly had no meaning. No team stretching, and the paid professionals just milling about, more like after school supervisors than coaches. The result was an almost predictable disaster with sideline chaos leading to repeated pre-snap penalties and before you could say Take Him Back Ducks, we had been thoroughly whipped by an inferior team. Feeling me Noles?

As we scream ahead to the present in the 9-12 Willie wasteland, the coaching malfeasance is so acute that it does not seem plausible to rock forward without a shift, does it? How many times can we send the wrong number of players out on special teams? Answer; a lot. For those that may not be coming to Doak as much as you would invariably like to, on the home sideline for at least the last 15 years is a floor banner right on the 50 yard line (it also travels to all the away game by the by). It looks like a garnet and gold twister board. It has 11 small circles on it with each circle having a number. The purpose behind this genius is for the special teams coach prior to his unit charging pell mell into the abyss is to make sure that the right number of players are set to go out. Somehow, and this is not an exaggeration, we have had the wrong number of players on the field for special teams at least 15 times this season. It has cost us at least 4 timeouts. Last night, we employed the 10 person unit on 3 punts and one kickoff, one of which was returned 30 yards. Now help me understand how with this seemingly foolproof tool on your sideline we can not pass fingerpainting every game. Welp, it is because we don't use it - at all.

But that is ok because when you have a fiery leader like we do, you know that the refs are literally quaking before they punk us. Like last night, with the game in doubt, and just recently having engaged in a 4 minute coffee clatch over a block in the back that - although there was 3 actual Noles getting blocked in the back - they decided that the flag needed to be retrieved; our volcanic chief chose to keep the anger inside. Then, when for all the World it looked like the Canes had made a terrible lateral that should have been a scoop and score turning point play, quick-trigger Taggart did...bagel. That was the proverbial final straw for team Sickmon. Our season tickets just happen to be on the line of scrimmage for that play. The line judge was not in position to see if it was backwards, but chose to blow a whistle anyway. The referee - because we were on defense - and was free from calling any holds, was staring intently at the golden girls (not a terrible decision), so he was no help. Willie still had a bunch of options here. Even if the premature whistle blew any chance of us getting a touchdown, it did not eliminate the chance for FSU to have a clear recovery and the ball on the 38 with a real chance to raise the roof of an anxious Doak. Momentum means something in this series. Even if the challenge did not work, absolutely losing your damn mind at a potential game changing wrong call at least sends a message to your team, fans and soon-to-be departing boosters. Doing zilch but the shrugging cross arms walk talking into the headset to nowhere was the most damning moment in his Seminole career.

The troubles that this staff inherited are not an unsolvable riddle. They had a dearth of quality offensive lineman and very little talent at quarterback. Looking back now, I can see why they went as far as they did with Francois last season....But two recruiting cycles later, and there are no new quarterbacks on the roster. Two complete recruiting classes without a QB...at Florida State...with 3 different Heisman trophy quarterback trophies gleaming in the trophy case. Offensive lineman take more time. Solution, spend an inordinate amount of recruiting time at JUCO's finding temporary fixes while backfilling the closet with freshman. You have a recruiting coordinator who is not a field coach who should have been in Mississippi every damn week looking for nasty 300 pound men who may not be able to spell Lizard or Hurricane, but knew they hated them. Result, one grad transfer in 2 years from Northern Illinois who did not even start for his MAC school. So, to blame Jimbo at this point for the inherited mess is faulty logic.

To top it off, we get the regularly scheduled erudite press conferences where every query can be effectively answered with "Dumb penalties and lack of execution". Does he not realize that effective coaching eliminates these two items. I think he thunk not.

Here is the hope to linger on with as we Noles attempt to mentally transition to what fills the void after football season abandons us. This defense - even without the beast that is Marvin Wilson - should be incredibly good next year. Everyone else returns, including two injured five stars in Woodbey and Kaindoh.  The young linebackers in Gainer and McRae are legit and maybe in 2020, we can learn how to actually catch interceptions. Baby steps folks. The special teams can't get worse, can it. I mean just catching punts seems like a dinosaur step forward, and having the same number of guys on the field as the other guys also might make a minuscule difference. On offense, let's pray like hell that whoever is recruiting can convince the one QB that is committed to stick and bring a passel of big, dumb, Associates Degree carrying maneaters to Tallahassee next Fall. We can build around Lucas, Washington and hope like hell for average. Backs and receivers do not seem to be an issue in Florida, but we can't run the wildcat forever (can we?).

Your hosts will be in the cradle of American history this weekend. Early forecast calls for snow on Friday and a high of 33 for game day. Thank god for noon kicks. We will be the ones in the garnet snowsuits, scarves, gloves and under garnet (and grey - see we mixed it up!) blankets. I only have to wonder if our coaching wunderkind sends his troops out in tee shirts without pads pregame again this week. That way, in addition to not actually getting hit until the first play - a tactic we have employed all season - we can add frostbite to the penalties, hydration, and execution on the Casey Kasem Excuse Top 40 this week. A trip to Shreveport hangs in the balance!!