Clemson

By n by, der was this man B'rer Dabo. Now, dis man dun had sum luck in hiz life. Lately, he dun had so much luck that he clean dun forgot howz to be humble. Mos of all, B'rer Dabo lubs his lan. All the peoples in his lan, dey wear bright orange and purples. If you be visitin his lan, you gots to wear dese colors or all his peoples know dat you not one of dem. Yeah, dey still nice and all, but, you bout to go into a Briar patch and der not be any hoppin, skippin or slitherin outta of it. B'rer Dabo sez all the good things about folks coming to see hiz lan, but he knows that dey bout to get stuck on all dose prickers in his patch. Yessir, B'rer Dabo thot dat he had a lan dat was gonna be full of dat luck foreva!  But, my friendz, nuttin lasts foreva, and by n by, dat patch gonna die. When dat patch dun die, B'rer Nole gonna dance again. He gonna laugh and sing and wear dat garnet n gold britches all o'er dat dead patch. Til den, chilluns, we gots to live wit dis too happy, no humble B'rer Dabo. Harumph.

Yup, on our meandering journey to Clemson this week, we stopped at the Uncle Remus museum in the metropolis of Eatonton, Georgia. If that first paragraph was a mystery then you probably either have never seen Song of the South or ridden the now politically incorrect Splash Mountain. This was just after going 50 miles out of our way to find a roadside shack in a town without a light or a school that had fabulous fried chicken, corn fritters and sweet tea (all for $4.49). Sometimes, you just have to leave the Interstate folks. I wish I had listened to my own advice on the way home as we ran into every 5 month Floridian of all time escaping Yankeeville, There is nothing more joyous after getting your teeth kicked in than sitting on I-75 with no escape staring at blue hair, handicap dangles, and hands higher than a head behind the wheel next to you.

The game was basically over after the first play from scrimmage. Most of us knew that the first quarter was everything. The Tigers had been told in 2014 FSU style by every national pundit - using everything but "game control" - that they were not as good as their previous version. They had two weeks to ponder their situation and a home game against their "rival" to show very quickly that they were indeed still a force. Everyone knew the kitchen sink was coming right now. Asante was in phase, turned his head and tried to make a play on the ball. But, the Clemson wideout pushed him right in the face not once but twice and created separation (of course he did) to haul in the bomb. What for all the world should have been a penalty on the offense instead was propane on a rocket launcher. The Tiger wideouts could continue to create space all day, and no one on the defense showed much fight for the rest of the night.

Not an excuse, but losing Woodbey and not having Janarius in the first half was an absolute killer. The Noles had no physical answer for the Clemson running game. The gap integrity was not awful, but there was no finish. There was lots of thump, but no one in Orange on their rump. Not to mention that Lawrence had more time to throw than a bride needs at the makeup table. Yes, he was preternaturally accurate all day, but his feet were cemented in the pocket and in between crumpets could pick his 4th or 5th read. J-Rob was right below our seats in the first half; waiting in the tunnel staring at an iPad of the TV broadcast. I am sure it is absolute barrel of monkeys watching your mates get walloped while you are wrongly being suspended. Well, he played like a skunk in a Chanel factory in the second half - but it was a tad too late.

I have only been following FSU with my own eyes for 37 seasons, and my video archives do not have many lowlights from the late 50's or early 60's. But in my extremely limited memory, I have never seen QB play as bad as we had on Saturday afternoon. Weinke's 6 picks against NC State? Nope. You could see the talent. Charley's first two games where he threw to everyone but his own guys. Nope, he had innate ability in the pocket and was technically sound. He just could not hit the ocean with a nickel off a boat. Jeffrey's 2006 gem against Wake? Well, the CMA duo of the Year Weatherford and Lee did toss four picks, but they were only allowed to throw on third and long to just two guys. The World knew every playcall - so no. The winner by a nose is the horrific mess we witnessed from Alex and James. JB looked like he was trying to conquer an Indiana Jones landmine of floor spears all while throwing a football. Drunk high school computer nerds trying to wobble have better footwork. Alex comes in and has a wide open Treshawn Harrison cutting right  smack in front of him, and missed by so much that I had to wonder if he was hit whilst throwing. He was not. Instead, it went to a dude wearing Orange - again. Folks, TV may not have done justice to how many Nole receivers was wide slap ass open all game. You may have seen Cam behind the entire defense only needing a 10 yard toss (that went 20), but there were a half dozen more. You did not see them because our boys were not even close to hitting them. Even the TD to Terry was woefully behind him. So much so, he hit the air brakes, reversed field and still found a way to score. Briles called a brilliant game. Too bad our QB's decided not to participate. Goodness gracious, I hope we have a star coming in 2020 at QB...

I have said this before, but Clemson is an absolutely great trip. These are incredibly gracious, classy fans that truly make every effort to make you feel welcome. They buy you beer, thank you for coming and share everything on their tailgate table. And they did this when we were knocking their doors down in the 90’s. Make the trip if you have not before. Speaking of pummeling, I know many of you are thinking we may never beat a team in Orange again. Well, in 2008, I thought Florida may beat us until my grandkids arrive. Two seasons later, we boatraced em. In 2013 and 2014, if you had asked a resident of Upstate SC if they would ever beat us again as we piled up top 5 recruiting classes and crushed them like a JV team, they would have politely shaken their heads and asked if you wanted some more pimento cheese. Cycles happen, and our turn will come again.

If that turn is gonna happen while some of my hair is still brown will be determined in the next five games. Getting to 7 or even 8 wins will translate to a top 10 class for this staff of pure recruiters. Lose another 3 or 4 and I have to think that we may not be able to afford to keep B’rer Willie around.

Back to the Carolinas this week. See you on Snuggie Hill!