Clemson

Death Valley. Yup. If Custer was wearing Orange & Purple, he would have beat our Indians in this place. In order for us to win here, we apparently have to be about 4 touchdowns better than the home team, and then hope we come back to win late in the fourth. It would not hurt to put the officials in a sugar & fat coma pregame (clearly speaking from personal experience now...) by making them ingest about four pulled bbq pork sandwiches, a gallon of sweet potato brown sugar crunch, topped off with apple turnover surprise (burrrp). Then make those black & white striped ACC bastards climb 42 ramps and pop out onto a concrete ledge only to discover that they have 52 more "stairs" (maybe for a sherpa since the height of each step was twice as large as the landing area) until they woozily arrive at their assigned viewing location. Now call pass interference with your stomach churning, your head dizzy and your lungs searching for something resembling oxygen! To call this location a seat would be operating under the assumption that you could look forward and see action. The only action in front of us was a plane pulling a sign that said "Tickets Stubs for Tater Tots at Bubba's Postgame". Football game viewing involved tilting your cranium uncomfortably forward and playing the awesome game of Who is On the Field Now?

With all that said, the people in the Upstate could not have been any nicer - before and after the game. This is truly our sister school in the ACC. They simply get it. They are a football (and baseball) school that tailgates like we do, cries when they lose and hates the SEC and their in-state rival with white hot passion. A country institution in a State where all the male monied folk went to the big city school down the road. All this does not make it any easier to lose to 'em. But they get us too, and if the shoe was on the other foot, and Clemson joined our conference we had been dominating in 1992, and we proceeded to win ...ummm...not a single conference championship ever again, how gracious would we be?

Remember how we felt when Christian Ponder got hurt late last season. We were in good hands. Well, amazingly enough, that is true again. Young Mr. Trickett was terrific on Saturday afternoon in almost every way. Considering your worst case scenario came true - no running game, no receivers that have even shaved were on the field with him, and a defense that is closing deals like the French after Jefferson bought half the US for 6 bucks and a plug of tobacco. When he had time, he was accurate. His deep balls are gorgeous, and he is quickly learning with us that fellow frosh Rashad Greene is a flat stud. Reminds me of Tamarick Vanover in that he glides and just runs away from any poor sap trying to cover him. Four games, four scores for this precocious youngster. We have chronicled since preseason our concern about the interior of the line, and this problem is now past chronic. It is time for changes with these three boys...scheme, personnel, underwear, breakfast. It does not matter, but changes need to be made. If the blocking does not continue against the five ACC underlings on our immediate schedule, then it is time to change backs to someone other than (the generously listed) 5'8" 180 lb CT in our backfield. Bring in a bruiser and plow forward for 3-4 yards at a clip. Both our freshman fit the bill in James Wilder Jr. and Devonta Freeman. Our tree sloths playing center and guard can continue to get stood up like Lurch getting measured for a new Armani, and we still can do better than 2nd and 11 with these two bruisers. And on this subject, if you are going to throw the ball 50 times a game, bring in a back (see Lonnie Pryor or Ty Jones) that can at least block when another convict escapes our fierce protection scheme. All this said, the problem this week - in a bizarre unpredictable twist - was not the offense.

This was a headscratcher. In many ways, things seemed to be ok. Clemson did not run the ball with any real effectiveness. In fact, take away the QB naked boots and their ground game was mitigated. The Tigers were fighting down & distance all day; 2nd & long was the norm. But, whoa Bessy, stop that porker from setting up camp at the Sizzler Salad Bar...when it came to third down, we were the Mother Theresa of giving. Were there some questionable calls, absolutely. Even those of us on Upper Deck, Row Z (literally), could see that two of those pass interference calls were awful. But, the rest of the defensive gaffes were just idiocy. On 4th & 1, you don't send in the block team, much less even touch the wimpy, Emmy winner that is the Tiger punter. You do not grab a fistful of the signal callers' face mask when you & two teammates are about to initiate an 800 pound fleshpile. And for all that is Holy, how did we miss the ball on that punt before the half, and yet slam into the aforementioned Susan Lucci's thigh? If these mental errors were not enough, someone tell me again why our two slowest LB's are on the field on 3rd & forever, and Christian Jones and Telvin Smith are playing paddy-cake on the sideline. How many deep routes to the TE are going to happen before we make the switch? In many cases, the deep balls to some terrific CU wideouts were simply the result of pinpoint passing by a vastly improved Tiger QB. But, the coaches need to self-evaluate and then work on personnel & discipline in these next two weeks.

I heard post-game that Shawn Powell was hurt this week, so he gets a pass for the out of character 9 yard punt. Five touchbacks for golden toes was fun to watch (had a great view of those!), and Dustin was gracious enough postgame to take photos with our guests from Ohio and make one 15 year old girls' weekend extra-special.

As hard as it is to admit, this season is still in front of us. Now the margin for errror is erased. No upsets, no slip-ups. Just dominate the next 7 games and head to the Swamp 9-2. Enjoy the off week. I know my lawn needs mowing. Roll Tide.