Preseason 2009

He is a tweener...Our boy waits at the bus stop. It is early - too early in the morning for the other kids to see that yet two more red blotches showed up overnight. Was it the chocolate or the pizza? Don't care, just hate being 15. Yeah, he can drive - but only if you count the empty Wal-Mart parking lot late on Tuesday nights with Mom screaming that she is gonna die when he gets within 40 yards of anything metallic. Lisa and Mary Anne both think he is wayyy cute, but they talk so much. If girls are supposed to be so mature; why do they cackle like drunk hens - never listening to each other - but breathlessly hanging on and replaying every word we say like we were Stalin guest lecturing at the brownie troop. His parents say they trust him, but do they leave town without him - uhh no. He is a tweener...but next year! Next year, he is freaking 16. Driving Dad's deatheater all over town and keeping the back seat clean - just in case. Next year, these four tinker toys strapped to his torso will fill out with muscle. Next year, when he asks gorgeous Georgette out, entire sentences will flow like out of his mouth like a hawaiian waterfall as opposed to the rusted muffler mono-syllabic speech he had been sporting so far. Yeah, he is a tweener - but next year...

Since I just bashed every one of you over the head with this ridiculous analogy, my obvious conclusion is that our beloved Noles are still a year away. Yes, they could surprise us and make an ACC run, but reality and youth tells me that we are truly tweeners, and 2010 is when we have a real shot at championship-type glory.

The offense ought to damn good. Five returning O-lineman back led by maybe the best Guard in the country in Rodney Hudson. The other four are not particularly special talent, but with Attila the Hun watching their every move, the result is a terrific unit. Many of you read this week about Michigan Coach Rich Rodriguez and his apparent desire to practice slightly longer each day that the NCAA allows. Allah forbid they ask our O-line how much they really practice each week...we will never get off probation. Speaking of Allah, I think Christian is going to explode this season. The decision-making I saw in the Bowl game got me juiced. He just needs to buy time like a John on the Strip so that sure-handed options like Taiwan and Jarmon Fortson can create some space. Fortson is going to be a load to bring down and he if he looked a little like his position coach last year, he is gonna channel him in 2009. Burt Reed and Louis Givens are speed boys for Jimbo's reverses and behind the line dumps. We should also see some real improvement on the Sickmon-slow pace that Antone hit his holes last season. Jermaine Thomas and both Freshman (Chris Thompson and Lonnie Pryor) stick their head down and go quicker than anyone since Warrick Dunn. The offense is also returning in tact for 2010.

On to to the defense. There is not a coach or off-season observer that could honestly tell you that they know what to expect from this unit. Mickey said it might be the fastest defense in school history. I have had chili that set land speed records in my gut too...that was not necessarily a good thing. Watching teams like Georgia Tech an Maryland take advantage of our overpursuit with misdirection should illustrate how young speed can burn you. It will be fun to see how long it takes for the two true freshman prodigies DT Jacobi McDaniel and CB Greg Reid to really make an impact...sadly I think this happens in Game 1. You want to feel confidence? Well, we are starting a walk-on at DE against the Canes. Our second line of defense is uber-talented with future pros Dakota Watson and Nigel Bradham on the outside, but any injury to this group at all could be Hiroshima. I do not think anyone is going to want to visit the Robinson's neighborhood this Fall, not when the other side of the street is giving away free cheese fries. It would not shock me to see the staunchly stubborn Andrews play 50% zone defense to minimize the all-you-can eat buffet lines on the boundary side that could have wiped out John Candy.

Oh, and rumor has it that Graham Gano was a pretty good college player. We might miss him a little. However, we did sign the best freshman placekicker in the Spanglish speaking world in Dustin Hopkins and his kickoffs might even be a step up from Gano if preseason reports are to be believed. He also favors a gold kicking shoe which -although seems unusual if you are not Mike Myers - gives him some personality points. Shawn Powell is a ham & egger for a punter and should not hurt us, but as my Dad will attest, three eggs every morning sometimes bites you in the aorta when you are 50. The Reed & Reid Show should be handling punt returns and that ought to be exciting. I am a little concerned about our best defender in Patrick Robinson being the kickoff return guy...cuz if he gets hurt...ummm...

So, bottom line for this tween season is that by about Game 6, our defense (barring major injury) ought to be pretty good...which is nice because that is when offensive juggernaut Ga Tech rolls into town. However, we might be good enough offensively to just flat outscore the bad guys while the D grows up. I see a 3-1 or at worst 2-2 OOC record and 7-1 or 6-2 in the league.

Please, please find a way to bring our boys to Tampa for the ACC Championship. Can we tailgate at my place just once???

But, in 2010...I really believe that this teenager will become a man. With a Tebow-less and draft riddled Florida team coming to Tally and 19/22 starters back for the good guys, we should be positioned to send the old man out with a National Championship type squad. So, enjoy the acne and the cracked voice, cuz growing up can sometimes be fun.